Rising like a silly piggy from the ashes...

Salutations esteemed blogger peeps!

It's been more than three months since I last shared my inane thoughts and ramblings with the ether. Really? That long? Yep, it seems so. In the last 48 hours I have cobbled together this 'comeback' post on approximately five occasions and on each and every one of those occasions have deleted the contents. Boy, it's a hard thing to do.........

I seriously haven't been near a computer other than for work or email in that time - no Twitter, FL, MM, PS, Flickr, Linkedin or other - and I just can't bring myself to even look at the 'catch up' required. Given the nature of my absence and the life changing and relationship changing events that have taken place in the last while I feel a new start and clean slate are required. A bloody hard thing to do when history is laid down for all to see and read on a bunch of webpages!

What's a gal to do? He suggested a clean slate and perhaps defecting to the other side.......yep, that would be Wordpress. Or alternatively, re-vamp Blogger and begin over again - 'Reincarnation of silly piggy' perhaps? 'The Second Coming' maybe? Tsk, I know not....

I am procrastinating.....again. Easy to do when faced with a task you're not keen to get your teeth into. Easy to do when silly piggy has become a selective mute. Easy to do when really there is nothing to say. Gutted. I used to be one of those sorts who could talk incessantly and endlessly about NOTHING, as you yourselves will know based on the content of the blog previously!

Things have changed. I have changed. Unqualifiably and unquantifiably so. Life has a habit of doing that to people and I am clearly no exception to that particular rule. I guess the nature of the 'reincarnated blog' will also change. Perhaps it will return with a more intelligent, thoughtful, witty slant; coherent. emotive impassioned and such like. Then again it might start that way and plummet to depths I didn't even know it was capable of LOL. Whatever, I'm ending the tentative comeback here and will now endeavour to start reading about what you've all been up to for the last few months.

I sincerely hope my endeavours find you all well and content.

Delectably yours x

Ponderables

Ok a couple of weird things that are bothering me..........both to do with Piggly, neither of which I have the answer to.

One. He's taking an online sub. Period. He's not asked me what I think about it, He doesn't have to, He's just doing it. I have no issues with real life, real time poly onions (soz typo but I kinda like it so it stays ha ha!!) but I'm not sure how the online thing works and how it affects my standing in our current 24/7 arrangement. Since it's not open to discussion or negotiation then I suppose I will find out soon enough. As it happens, I don't even know anything about this chick either....lots of surprises in store for me then.

Two, He wishes to add more 'anal everything' to our repertoire....GULP! If I'm honest, I'm about as far removed from an anal slut as one can get. Hell yes I partake because I have to NOT because I enjoy it, well not often anyway! I'm not big on plugs and probes and dildos and beads and Mini Coopers and everything else can can be crow barred in there but I do my bit to placate Him. My dislike is largely  to do with the immense quantity of steel that dangles from His penis.......it just fills me with horror and I just can't get my head around it! So much so that I'm clenching my butt cheeks together as I write LOL. This picture is not darling boy's cock but the metal is the same hence why I've included it. I did want to put it into some sort of context for you! Right; for some anal sluts out there I'm being a wuss, I get that, but seeing this coming towards me frightens the shit out of me. Again more 'anal' is not open to negotiation so I have to just get used to the idea and picture a rather innocuous bare cock heading my way, more often in future I suppose.

Do I really have to have this up my arse on  a more regular basis?

So these are my ponderables for the day hey ho! I will not be bringing either up in conversation with Him because I'm being TOLD it's happening and He has absolutely no desire to hear my thoughts and opinions. The glorious life of a sub-type eh?

Hope you guys are all well. Until next time, delectably yours  xx

Adding to the repertoire

I am counting today, 2nd January, as the first day of my vacation. My holiday has been filled with people and I have had not one single minute on my own with Piggly since the 23rd December.

The inlaws were up staying with us over Christmas which put the peter on any festive kink....groan.....and He had perfected and mastered Jingle Bells with the jingly bells too(you remember those don't you?)  It's so difficult to go about 'your business' when you're entertaining your husband's parents. They are terribly conservative and I don't think they could handle DD spankings over the breakfast table. 'Would you like a quick spank with you cornflakes or would you prefer milk?'

Anyway they've gone and Piggly has a glint in His eye once again. He looks rejuvenated and the next few days might well work in my favour...ooh, much excitement on my part.

We talked yesterday, briefly, about where all this is heading in 2012. The biggest challenge kink-wise last year was going 24/7. For those of you new to the blog, the idea of adding to the bedroom kink was purely  a no strings 4 month contract........a trial period if you like. At the end of the 4 months had either of us decided it wasn't for us we would have knocked it on the head. Everything about my existence was better living 24/7 so it stayed thankfully. I remain collared and happy in 24/7 kink.

It's where to take things this year. I'm finding, rightly or wrongly, that the more kink I get the more I want or should that be need. I recognise there is a BIG difference here, and believe in some cases it is a need rather than a want.

I would like Piggly to get over his blood hurdle. To date, play ceases when blood is drawn through any means and while it turns me on to see this, He believes it to be a step too far. He's not repulsed by the sight of it in any way shape or form so perhaps it's as simple as changing His mindset. Only He knows the answer to that. I NEED this one!

This is the year I'm going to get me a liberal, open, bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, demisexual person with breasts to play with who doesn't mind my domestic situation. This is like the search for the Holy Grail it really is. I had zero luck last year; had a few nice dates with nice gals but there was always an issue. I wasn't lesbian, had a partner, had a male partner, had kids, was married,  they weren't kinky and the list goes on. I know there is someone out there for me and I'm going to find 'her' in 2012!! Wishful thinking perhaps? I really want to discover if I can effectively dominate a 'female'. My head is filled with fantasies about this and it's time to realise my potential me thinks. I NEED this one too!

The wonderful world of latex.......delving further into the shiny stuff is a desire, NOT a need. Sadly it's very expensive but the addition of a few key items is a must this year and will hot things up a tad.

I hate hoods and sensory deprivation. This is an area He would like to develop further so I'm going to get over my fears and try and run with this one more frequently. Looking at this statement I'm thinking what a ridiculous thing to dislike and so terribly tame too!

Then there's fire cupping. Never done it but ooooh to give this one a go! I love temperature play of all sorts already so this is simply taking it a step further. The beauty is it can also be combined with blood play......2 birds one stone so to speak.

I really would like some more alfresco or public sex too. Last time we had sex in the great outdoors I ended up covered head to toe in itchy welts that lasted for about 3 days. God only knows what we were frolicking in (?) but it didn't agree with me! I have fantasies about being watched during sex so I might just pay some pervs to come and have a goosey while we're at it ha ha! I did get a bit of that on holiday last year actually, which was a huge turn on, courtesy of a nosey neighbour..........Lunchtime quickies in car parks, frenetic sex in pub toilets etc are all good so if it happened more often that would be very nice.

We already have an extensive repertoire and it is becoming increasingly difficult to add to because I'm not into role play, bodily emissions, age-play, anal stretching/fisting, amputation and such like. I can say this because I know for a fact He will never ask me to engage in these things.......they are HARD LIMITS for Him (thankfully!).

So one or two new things to incorporate and a couple to do more frequently and that should keep me happy for a short time. Silly piggy is being ungagged and unbound today and normal service will be resumed at last!

Have a fun day y'all. Delectably yours......unlocking the toyboxes xx

The dreaded resolutions!

OK so this silly piggy has been a way for a while; nothing to do with me personally rather some devastating news from my best  friend which has been very hard to accept, particularly at this time of year. She's trying to make the best of the short time she has left and I have finally accepted her situation and will attempt to do everything I can to support her. Enough said. It is still too painful for me to talk about.

However, the hamster wheel of life continues turning and I have to continue living, we all do.

I endeavour to return to normality, whatever that actually is these days, and as we all do I have made resolutions......AGAIN! In light of the things that are happening in my personal life, my resolutions have a slightly different slant this year and they ought to. Sometimes we are each of us guilty of being a tad self-absorbed and we bitch and moan about the things which are not right in our unions and our lives and yet expect them to be fixed with as little effort as possible, often putting the onus on another party and not ourselves.

My resolutions are as follows:

• make amends with two people following a bitter disagreement in October last year. These people were hugely important to me and now we no longer talk. I don't wish any drama but the air has to be cleared.
• tell those around me how much they mean to me more often
• do something nice for someone, anyone, every day (other than for Piggly, friends or family)
• pay someone a compliment every day just so they can feel a little better about themselves (we all love it when we feel rubbish and someone out of the blue says something like 'Wow your hair looks great' or 'I love your sweater, it's a great colour on you!')
• help out my elderly neighbour more often - taking her bins out, walking her dog, getting groceries, pop in and have a cup of tea, anything really, just so she knows she's not entirely on her own.

The above are all easy things to do and easy to continue with. It's not that I don't do any of them at present it's just I should do them much more often despite my hectic daily schedule!

On a personal note:

• I have 19lbs of fat to lose between now and my summer vacation on 5th July 2012.
• I endeavour to learn a new skill or educate myself further this year. I was considering embarking on a second degree in Psychology, and have been contemplating it for the last 3 years, perhaps 2012 will be the year I actually do something about it!
• My OH is an ex-marathon runner and half-marathon runner. I would like to complete a marathon this year just to prove to myself that I can do it. Edinburgh is in April and with my current levels of fitness I should be ready by then......GULP! It would also help with the fat loss too!!
• I want to take my kinks to new heights this year and am compiling a wish list as we speak (this is the proactive part of fixing the things in my union which are not perfect!) More on this in the next few days.

These goals are achievable if I put my mind to it. I already think there is not enough hours in the day but this year I'm going to have to find that extra time to fit everything in. Let's hope I can succeed in my quests!!

I made a start already today woot woot! I ordered a new pair of runners since my current ones have run approx 500 miles and need replaced and Piggly dearest has designed my running and cross training schedule for the next two weeks. I start that tomorrow.

2012......bring it on!!

New Year

Happy New Year folks! 

If your New Year's Day is anything like mine, it will be spent grazing and lazing with 

friends and family......have a good 

one whatever you are doing!

Delectably yours xx

Blood play to spice things up once again

Hey just checkin' in to say I'm still alive and have a gazillion of posts from you guys to comment on (please be patient, I will get round to each and every one of you ......promise!).

Taking a few days away from the computer is verging on insanity.......you stay away for 3 days, check your reading list and find there's dozens of posts to read and comment on! I am working on it.

It has been a Hellish week, quite frankly. Break ins, strikes, family crises etc all put one's kink into perspective, and whilst I live this arrangement 24/7 there are other bigger, more important things that over-shadow it from time to time. The 24/7 M/s continues in the background, a bit like white noise.......I think that shows just how ingrained this lifestyle thing is! DD, punishment, rewards are all still there but one accepts them as standard. It takes something out of the ordinary to produce a thrill factor now!

Anyway, I am currently padlocked up and going through a denial period which is frustrating to say the least but with everything else going on at the moment, it is the least of my worries. It doesn't stop play, or diminish His orgasms....just mine.....BOOOOO! This will end when He says so and no sooner. He managed to source tiny locks a few weeks ago and they are certainly more comfortable for longterm wear than anything else He has in His kit box for sure. It's another game really; He's waiting for me to plead to be released from my 'shackles' so to speak, but my bloody-mindedness prevents me from doing so regardless. A battle of wills once again. Not a very submissive attitude maybe.....I no longer know.

I stumble through my days, sometimes in a haze, and simply accept. Tolerate beyond comprehension and strive NOT to be the first to cave in. Is that the attitude and demeanour of a submissive?

I actually wonder how submissive I am to be honest. More like a martyr, I endure rather than revel in these situations. My friend has questioned my position, and rightly so.

Piggly and I switch on occasion and on only one occasion have I done a decent job where He has not topped from the bottom. Most of our switching has occurred prior to the 'change' to 24/7 M/s.....things I feel are different now. I am different now, or am I? Could it be that I am still submissive but play doesn't fully reflect my tastes any longer?

Beatings, knife play, the violet wand, rope bondage, steel restraints, breath play etc are not really doing it for me anymore. Two choices.......(a) vanilla living or (b) ramp up the BDSM.

I want to try bloodplay. I want Him to take a scalpel to me and cut me up. I really want to writhe around covered in the elixir of life. He has produced blood through nicks during knife play and also caning.........the sight of blood turns me on....period. A year ago, blood revolted me, but not now. Our play just ain't hardcore enough me thinks and needs elevated to a new level.

I must broach this tentatively with Him. Play tends to subside when He draws blood; He believes He's gone too far and changes tack at that point. How exactly do I explain to Him that the production of blood is the intention of play?

Wow, it's kinda weird just how much your tastes can change lol. I wonder if it will ever be a goer?

Delectably yours x

Nothing to say on HNT

I have nothing to say. Tired, fragile, overly emotional and pissed off. Happy HNT, sort of........

At least I have managed my photographic challenges this week, if nothing else.

Delectably yours.....not x

P.S. I did wear knickers for the occasion.......haven't worn a pair of these for at least 6 months now. Pulled them out my drawer and couldn't actually remember what to do with them.